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i wish there was something other than california girls

Captain’s Log:

So the tide was way up today and it allowed me to move some of the heavier rocks on the right hand side, started a breakwater. Man who spoke no english swimming. Newfie asking if I was looking for crabs. A piece of wood with the number 33 came floating in.

Alexander Beach, Extension Beach, The Beachhead, The Heli Pad, Sunset Strip, Salish Shore, Next Beach, C.R.A.Beach.

Saw first starfish. Thinking about making ledge on eastern bank of beachhead. Working on lever system to move that huge log in the middle. Will have to time it with the tides. Can picture diving platforms. Drawbacks: helicopters. Bonus: helicopters make wind.

I think bay refraction is working in my favour. It's going to be hard moving that log.

New name: desperation bay- rob andow

Moved key boulder 2:13 pm. Lit gunpowder after. Dogs visited, stir up hidden rocks. Slight injury at 3:06, minor abrasions. Some ceramics found. #33

Oxygen tent blue approved for foot coverings. Barnacle stigmata endured and archived in thirty third ring of leveraged and pinioned winch cedar. All clear.

Fulcrum failed at moon cycle. new date set for alignment

Proposals for the ruins of Norvegicus Catacombs stamped and collated for distribution to High Mask committee at Fulcrum dithyramb. All signals revert to Riverun Solipsisms at quarter moon. All clear.

33 And A 1/3rd Beach

Many small rocks- is it because the waves are revealing new ones?

Ancient death ceremony observed with new friend. See instagram. Lanterns burning up at temperature inversion layer. Told them to get off the dock- no more updrafts. Was correct.

August is on in me. Last night was the highest tidal observation. A bale of bell peppers- flotsam perhaps from cargo mishap. All orange. Apocryphal.

A new salted sodium type talc and the popping sound that barnacles make when water is back upon their backs. Erosion observed.

High Mask Committee meeting post-poned to fourth lunar regiment under next all-sun event.

Am I responsible for the making of future dolomites?

Geese visit Beach.

Observed other locations: studied Kits beach erosion techniques, groynes, and benches. Longshore drift helping or hindering. Imported sand? False creek seeping permeated post-industrial memories- flora minimal. UPDATE: during high tide yesterday observed pipe fish. Do not say naturual habitat or natural environment that is a tautology. Sketches collated.

Ahoy H! Ahoy H! Be there, all sizes of Eaglemen, all ages and all-types! The next all-sun day is passing. Commemorate the silent whistle at Afterwork. IPA day- 6 procured one consumed (please attend Steam Shop for more). Lemon Tea also accepted! Invite 3rd degree stranger-friends you are curious about! Come see Extension Beach in all it's glory! Help with ceremonial Symbolic Diving Platform. Ahoy H it's the FIVE OCLOKER. In America there is a preponderance of HAPPY HOUR evenings. Although I would hesitate to use that particular phraseology, I would like to invoke it as apropos of the time of day. 5-7 5-7. 5-7 5-7. 5-7 5-7. 5-7 5-7. 5-7 5-7. 5-7 5-7. 5-7 5-7. 5-7 5-7. 5-7 5-7. 5-7 5-7. 5-7 5-7. 5-7 5-7. 5-7 5-7. 5-7 5-7. 5-7 5-7. 5-7 5-7. 5-7 5-7. 5-7 5-7. 5-7 5-7.

Dirk Please Take Notation: Possible members for Attentive Extension Beach EagleCaptain: Sisyphus, Beckett Grace, yogic flyers, barnacle enthusiasts, Victoria Elliot Hall, Heidegger, Guy Debord, Erik Villagomez, cracksmokers, Jane Jacobs, Ezze Wear, Juliann Elsey-McCandless, drunks, hobos, Anton G Tony, flaneurs, bathers.

I tried to find your beach but failed.

Was the tide too high?

You around this weekend? I want to see this beach; also, Powell St. Festival.

yeah it was probably too high, you can see the shells from above. yours- sean

Nobody came. New log washed up. Tried, in vain, to fix it. Built rocks up around it. Diving bench. No avail. Diving rock announced. Signatorial cedar barked platform erected as semantic diving platform. DO NOT USE.

  • Huntington Spice Rock
  • weird
  • Milky Martinson Mineral Ore
  • wtf
  • Stevenstonite
  • wait what are all these names
  • Cloud Particle Ozone Slate
  • aaaaaaaaa
  • Triple Bergman Layer
    with a geo-magnetic position of .9
  • no!
  • Gary Felding's Pinkstone Quarryite
    Oracle-tested at strength 5
  • im so frustrated
  • Big Zincstone
  • thats a good one
  • thanks
  • oracle tested?
    youre a freak
  • strength 5
  • NO
  • well I guess It's subjective
    but I clearly tested a .8 Recent Ready Rock of normal pH and it clearly tested below Big Zincstone

Attendance: 4. Sean Orr, Eagle Captain (beta)- present R. Milton, Ariel, and Patrick- All-Sun Junior Eagle Captains- present

Ceremonial fire offering
Diving Log Project a partial success!
Diving Log Project a partial success!
Diving Log Project a partial success!
Diving Log Project a partial success!

"you gave an indian fire, that's very important in our culture"

Attendance 3: Sean Orr (former) Eagle Captain Lite J. McCandless, of the McCandless Clan. Candleless at candlemaas. And Stuart. He's informed. Day of sabbath.

Despite log set back, re-alignment of parameters within target date. Rocks painted blue, one baby croc-shoe, more porcelain, and one small wooden triangle. Present only was hula hoop lady.

Today a man walked near, observing, wary- perhaps unnerved. After the storm, things became clear. A great blue heron was startled by his arrival. He sat for a while, monitoring his thoughts. Slowly creating rampway where Potential Diving Log had been (it was now on the western edge). After an hour passed the man came near. "Wolde" he said his name was. "You are doing God's work" he said approvingly, adding "I am a reverend of the Lord". He is from Eritrea and was impressed I knew that the capital is Asmara. After he left a cormorant emerged with a small crab, a seagull dived and caught a small starfish, and a harbour seal popped up with some silvery fish in his gleaming jaws.

he gave the last english translation of his writing


Bluesky Intermodal: Attendance- Mimi (the cat), some rat dude, Koreans, a wedding.

Slope stabilization in effect. ALL THINGS MISSING FROM FLOTSAMLOG> new things added. WILL POST SOON. Deep water integration, gentle ramp, dive rock, shoreline enhancement, recent activity, slide risk.

Middle class adventurism, ancient irish stone wall construction, sanitation, terraforming, buried creek restoration, mental health initiative, myth making. When initiating correspondance please use file name my_beach.ext and limit data field input to 3 columns or 12 rows.

"on the outer edge again.
feels like everything washes up here.
the deepest part
cannon just popped"

Ahoy Captain Siadat, ancient phoenician sea captain and hand-rolled cigarette enthusiast! We received correspondance at approx. 9:15 pacific standard time. RE you query: Due to bay refraction, you will notice an inordinate amount of flotsam. Driftwood, dead crabs, broken-off pieces of rockweed, drowned feathers, foam. We are hoping in fact to use this refraction to deepen the beach. END TRANSMISSION>>>>>>

"The Trinity Flares last night at Extension Beach illuminated the ride to Beaver Lake and beyond. Golden bikes rescued from house fires. Slight bubbling. All Things Are Here. High Mask Committee dusk offerings are now satisfied and now we must place our true faces onto the doorway stones. Genuflect."

Previous studies about limnal lovemaking potentials of upper glade now being tested on most Sabbaths and day prior. Suggest: Adept be seconded to tabulate body talus. Gloves.

Cooler temperatures prevail, things settle. Waves at ease. The sand a brilliant calcium carbonate stained white tinged with green glass and algae. What part does this fit into the wider western frontier narrative he thought as he discovered a new offering- tea lights and a bouquet garni of lavender. Some heavy metals maybe and the first royal blessing by Lord Falcon- the upstart British Chef who rarely visits his over 220 outlets. A lady looked on disapprovingly.

THE OFFERING: Someone has left me an offering

Attendence: Seymour the Golden Doodle, 4 mos. owner Susanne (sp.) and The Swimmer. Found someone's grotto. Looked into further stream reclamation processes. New log, cantilevered into position.

Fighting Flaneur Walking Tour> A chinese wedding, BeerMom, Car, Red Robinson Crusoe and Marseault (killing an arab). Crusoe has much experience in Beach Building and really understands how to get the current working in your favour. Might have skin cancer. Moodyville. Ego Bay, God Beach. Tiny helicopters. "Yesterday I found 27 Eagle feathers". Put hair in braid. Paid in beer. "I made a grotto", peed on broken toe, bullheads, one dead jellyfish, and I shucked and ate an oyster.

Attendance: Seymour and Suzanne, the Readers, 2 guitarists, solitary black man. Offerings of feathers and a corroded penny. Almost had a jammer. Soil samples still needed. Blackberries ripe.

Tidal reconnaissance fine-tuned, driftwood collating at 7 cycles, lithology coded and waiting, makeshift groyne to counter-act longshore drift and the only moment we have together. A massive upheaval!

Dead Jelly

Needle Beach, Midden Beach, Mire Beach. Found a bitumen like substance deep underground. No relics left- remnants of flower buds stained driftwood ochre. Young smokers. Baby gull frenzy at 3:03, used Farmhand as partial impetus.

Message recieved: Bobby Siadat phoenician daylog entry 2.1.1

"giant sperm whale spermatoza kelp espied. investigated. taste: unconfirmed, mostly salty. shipmates shane and leake in attendance. morale is high. kelp glittering. blackberries sampled".

Fell in. Fell forward on a ship, HMS Stryfoam. Fell into autumn, a gentle slope. Coconut incense offering from a man with two huskies. Street Towel. Ancient coins.

Rear Admiral James Greenshorts Greentowel, Powell River pump operator alum, can throw a fire-ax accurate up to 40 feet: "Oh you're the one who cleared the boat launch. Well that's what it was back in the day. There was also a clam processing plant here. That's why this water is so good for your feet", anticipating tsunami debris- will need entire crew up there. Levels of barium and strontium noted. Another dead jelly and HMS Styrofoam has sailed. Saphire Princess in dock blasting Jimmy Buffet. Evidence of Belmonts and Anchor Steam. Firelog mission aborted previous night. Raise the flag.

Routine scheduled maintenance- attempt to manipulate tidal deposition a partial success. Present: minnows, guitarist, a Korean tourist with a high powered telephoto lens, northern flicker, elicit couple. Posited idea of back-up beach on higherground #needlebeach

Caught up in broken weeds. Caught up in a tidal cycle, a film set- Vancouver plays Oakland (stevedors!)~~ Scout Ben interpreted potential as Anniversary Fete. Greentowel looked on from behind his faded yellow paperback. Minimal work- basic trash disposal. New kiln built on western middle, by the poplars, near Red's Grotto, near Roan Rock.

Or how the sulphur peaks emulate the Lions above, and how these rocks are not from Mount Fromme- this marl, this mudstone. How there are larks in the swamp above, and what a lark this is.
And I finally met Roger the Bottleman.
Synthetic material much more prevalent than originally expected.
Greentowel told me about light beings. or HOW WE CAN BECOME ANGELS.
What berries are these.
Or how we are spiralling, cantilevered and weighted down, placed gently into form from above while nature writhes, stinking and glorious below.

Major developments afoot: with the help of the City of Vancouver I borrowed a back-ho and dredged the pond. Now the only people are in the rain. Now the only tracks made are made with the fullest knowing. Outflow fortified. Major clay available.

Troubled earth

On the lead up: Purple Onion, Malaspina Coach Lines, Hot Corner, Peace Tree, Characters, Parking Steve, Fighting Hunger, Wendy Poole, Hobbits in the window, Rat Pitt, Flattened Grass, The Hole.

Honorable mentions include: (Canucks) Yarn Bomb, Bench Positioning Suggestion, Underground Ship(40 bucks a ticket), Cheaper, Union Steamship Co (creosote on all poles), Rain Gulls, Kite Store, Original Subway, Tree Cut, The Facades (The Dark), Something And Something (cork and fin, oak and horn, meat and bread), Scott's Apartment, Loft 6 Shootings, Never Ending Book Store (and the first concrete foundation in Vancouver), Cedar Shavings.

landed upon morphed, remorphed, self-remorphing, shoreline of persia major. phoenicians in full attendance. man made creeks abound, artificial habitats created, longshore drift interrupted. rate of coastal erosion forming unique life, alien ecosystems and mutant families spawn from the froth of manicured beachland. algaen population increase noted. phoenician out.


Late Winter purview: A Coyote! I think he is stuck on that side of the tracks now
he was very very skinny
and dogs dont travel alone
He was fenced in
Also though, the creosote log last week at the Lorri introduction (low tide) is now dislodged. Did not move any rocks today.

Attendance: Lorri (Golden Goddess), Diana (Jr. Clam Princess), and Sean Orr (President and CFO). Among the discoveries- 1 very large Sun Star (Solaster stimpsoni: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solaster_stimpsoni), those 2 geese, baby starfish, many clams. One of them discovered later at home inside rock like this: https://www.google.ca/search?q=Penitella+penita&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X

Addendum: Lowest tide of the year- neap? Estuary forming, rivulets underground. Extended breakwater to farthest point. The farthest shore, a day so unseasonable in a sense- it's not summer. Dad boats.

Attendance: Leroy (stagger) and Helicopter enthusiast (massive carrier- total seaspray!). A new duck. Stream is dry. Use outgoing tide to wiggle rocks like teeth. Sea worms. They didn't pray among our followers. The Estuary.

Kinnick-Kinnick is red willow bark, mulle(i)n, bearberry, osha root, yerba santa.

Thoughts now turn to summer; after a surprise summerspring (it must turn cold) we have all tabulated and bore ourselves prostrate. Group shows and fevered optimism aside- the focus must now lie on a more formal approach to beachmaking. Real science now. Ahead.

A major splash- a seal attack? orca?

A fish getting battered... up against the rocks because it is so windy.

So many things in the air right now.

Basic breakwater maintenance schedule. much IPA. Cruise ship traffic up 30%. raking the wind and farming the sand.

Attendance: Stepdad Dave, Rana, Randy, Mommy; Stargoddess Lorri, me. Skipping record of 11 + distance achieved. Ring my Bell playing on Radiance of the Sea. Dog incident: Incident with the dog

Addendum: offering of flowers revealed!

Addendum: WHALES!!!!!

Giant Hogweed sighting. Evidence of cut-offs, a few butts, and a bottlecap. Man who looked like Jerry Stiller offered me a smoke. Creek partially destroyed. Heron on way back.

New bench over looking beach installed. Two crack people asked us, "hey do you wanna see a baby sturgeon?". We said yes. It was an eel. They fought about what kind of container to put it in so they could take it home. Saw Cloudface, sat for a bit. Left.


New developments. Main log missing! An open swath! Healthy creek now flows, decision to remain passive observer. Resident buffleheads. A fire of sorts: Homo habilis

Hardhack, fireweed. A birthday and a picnic. Some DJs setting up, mom worried about balloons. VanAqua on dock with binocs, searching for potential Orca. Silk Tree further in at Crab, one of six. Tansy, Queen Anne's Lace, Birdsfoot Trefoil, Butter and Eggs, Purple Loosestrife, Pearly Everlasting. Trailing Blackberry. Many Addipacks (little blue packets). Resident otter.

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